How To Stop Being A Loser

Here’s something to wax philosophical about… if a romcom is neither romantic nor funny, what is its point? That is what I kept asking myself while enduring “How To Stop Being A Loser”, a charmless comedy about a Star Quest playing geek who wants to turn himself into a new Don Juan with the help of a cheap pick-up coach. By the time he actually manages to pick up the girl he’s been lusting after he has managed to be found attractive by her (it still baffles me), he of course finds out she’s not the girl he wants and that it’s okay to be a geek and ends up with her instead.

Cellmates

Leroy Lowe (Tom Sizemore) is a Klan bigwig in the 70s who gets convicted to three years in a prison work farm for tax evasion. Once there he meets warden Merville, dead set on rehabilitating Lowe and crazy about potatoes. Merville picks Emilio Ortiz, a Mexican worker in prison for fighting for labor rights, to be Lowe’s cellmate. Emilio turns out to be a real talker and it doesn’t take long for him to start turning Lowe away from his bigotry. Well, there’s that and the sexy Mexican maid Madalena.

Premium Rush

In “Premium Rush” Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Wilee, a bike messenger in the busy streets of New York. Finding his way through the city while evading taxis and pedestrians might not seem like a lot of fun to me personally, but for this guy it’s a way of life. It sure makes for a lot of cool chases, spectacular stunts and even more spectacular crashes though!

One particular package seems to be a bit more problematic than usual, especially with a corrupt cop (played by eternal baddie Michael Shannon) hot on his heels along with an NYPD bike cop that Wilee managed to piss off.

Lawless

Based on the book “The Wettest Country In The World’, “Lawless” centers around the Bondurant brothers, three bootlegging brothers in Prohibition-era Frankly Country, Virginia. The leader of the bunch is Forrest (the always amazing Tom Hardy) who gradually softens by his feelings for Maggie (Jessica Chastain), a former hooker. Then there is Howard (Jason Clarke) who could do with an anger management class or two. Rounding out this bunch is Jack (Shia LaBeouf), the youngest of the three brothers and still in search of his balls at the start of the movie.

The Bay

Just when we all got over Jaws and thought the water was safe again, Barry Levinson brings us “The Bay”. After previously convincing us that it was a good idea to bring your autistic friend to a casino (Rain Man) or that Vietnam was really just a playground for Robin Williams (Good Morning Vietnam), he now wants to make us think about our water supply.