Parker

Is it just me or does someone else suffer from Stathamitis? Symptoms include a heightened sense of indifference and the inability to tell movies apart that star Jason Statham. The latest in a series of ever more indistinguishable action flicks is called Parker. Based on the main character of a series of bestselling novels by Donald E. Westlake, Parker is an anti-hero with a unique code of professional ethics who at the beginning of the movie pulls off a heist at the Ohio State Fair. Once he and his merry crew get away clean, his accomplices get greedy and leave him for dead.

The Numbers Station

John Cusack as a killer with a conscience? Didn’t I already see this one before? Oh no, wait… this is a new movie. In The Numbers Station, Cusack plays a hardened CIA agent who gets banished to a remote short-wave radio station in England after having failed to eliminate a witness during a mission.

Shadow Dancer

James Marsh isn’t exactly known for making the most accessible movies. Just think of Wisconsin Death Trip or Man On Wire. Shadow Dancer however will probably get a little more recognition thanks to the presence of Clive Owen as one of the movie’s leads.

Arbitrage

In Arbitrage, Richard Gere is a successful businessman (isn’t he in every single movie he’s in?) called Robert Miller who’s at the head of a family-owned hedge fund company that he’s trying to unload with a nice profit. He has a loving wife and a great family. In other words, it seems like he’s got it all. But seeing as that would make an extremely boring movie, things of course go wrong…

21 & Over

Just like last year’s “Project X”, this movie isn’t intended for those among us who like reading the Wall Street Journal while pondering deep thoughts about a philosophical treaty they read the day before. Nope, this one’s for those of us who still snicker over the funnies. Admittedly, The Hangover writers Jon Lucas and Scott Moore aren’t breaking any new ground here… just like with The Hangover you get a bunch of dudes having a crazy night before racing to some big event.

Beautiful Creatures

Adapted from a young adult novel by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, Beautiful Creatures is a movie that was clearly intended for the Twilight crowd. Because of enjoyable performances by both Emma Thompson and Jeremy Irons though, this movie about witches becomes semi-enjoyable for the rest of us as well.

The Man With The Iron Fists

This one looked good on paper. I mean, it is endorsed by Quentin Tarantino, co-written by Eli Roth and stars Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu. The only thing that it has working against it is the fact that RZA wrote and directed the whole thing and plays the main lead. Oh wait, the cons definitely outweigh the pros come to think of it. I mean, it’s not because you helped Tarantino with the sound effects on Kill Bill that you actually know how to make an entire movie, right? And if you think of RZA’s role in Californication, you already know he’s not exactly the world’s greatest actor.