Dredd

Does anybody still remember that terrible movie with Sylvester Stallone? If one movie deserved a remake, this was it! This time around it’s Karl Urban (Lord Of The Rings, Star Trek) who gets to wear the helm. Contrary to Stallone he never takes it off though and does most of his acting with his jawline. Wait, does that sound weird?

Deep In The Valley

Best friends Carl (Brendan Hines) and Lester (Chris Pratt) get in a vintage video booth and get transported to an alternate dimension where adult film screenplays are actually real life situations. While the idea itself isn’t all bad (it’s not like Hot Tub Time Machine had Oscar written all over it), the execution is. It’s a comedy but it isn’t funny and it isn’t exactly sexy either unless you’re 14 and you’ve never seen a boob in your life. But hey, it’s 2013 and we’ve got broadband internet… so I’m guessing there aren’t too many 14-year-olds like that left.