Album Reviews

Thursday, August 8, 2013 - 21:36
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Just take a minute and look at that band name again. Doesn’t it just want to make you punch them in the face? This has to be emo, right? Even when you abbreviate it to TWIABP which is what I’ve seen online a bunch of times, it doesn’t stick. Would you want to be in a band that is referred to as TWIABP?

Anyway, on to the music then… “Whenever, If Ever” opens with a short instrumental that doesn’t do anything but drag on. When the eight guys in the band eventually get to a real song, it turns out to be the kind of yawn-inducing turd that I would expect from a band with this name. Sorry… I’m really trying here but I just can’t get over just how horrible that name is.

The songs on here go and on and you quickly find out that there’s a fine line between ‘atmospheric’ and ‘plain boring’. The whiny vocals don’t exactly help speed things along either. With eight guys in the band, there obviously can’t be a shortage of ideas. Unfortunately none of them are very good, not even when you try to cram all of them in one song. These guys try and build up tension in the most chaotic of ways but it never leads up to anything good. Meanwhile the three vocalists stumble over one another and the keyboards seem to be added almost as an afterthought. I mean… seriously, those bleeps in “You Will Never Go To Space”?

There are just so many things that annoy about this album that I lost count. But I can boil it all down to two words: pretentious and boring. Do yourself a favor and skip this one!

Tom Dumarey
Tom Dumarey

Lacking the talent to actually play in a band, Tom decided he would write about bands instead. Turns out his writing skills are mediocre at best as well.