Movie Reviews

Spring Breakers
submitted by
Tuesday, July 23, 2013 - 20:47
Directed by: 

I've seen a lot of shitty movies in my life but Spring Breakers has to be the aboslute worst... hands down. It's about four girls (one of them is Selena Gomez) who want to go to Florida to partake in the spring break festivities. One problem though... they don't have the cash. So they rob a restaurant and head for the Sunshine State.

Once there we get to see the future of America smoking, drinking, fucking and snorting. Well, not really fucking... there's just a whole lot of titties flapping around. They then run into a wigger (James Franco) who calls himself Alien and fancies himself quite the gangster. Selena Gomez doesn't like where things are heading and goes back home. I honestly couldn't blame her because I was thinking of doing the same thing at that point. After that the movie still goes on for the better part of an hour.

In case you do decide to stay and fall asleep at some point during the movie... that's okay! They show every single image about twenty times and repeat their lines even more often. Oh, and in case you're wondering why you never see another slow motion sequence in another movie, that's thanks to director Harmony Korine using them all in "Spring Breakers".

Three words... worst... movie... ever! Korine should go back to directing shorts or he needs to learn that a feature movie requires something called a story.