From the man who has previously brought us the delightfully intimate Dungeons & Dragons, comes Getaway. This is essentially an 89-minute car chase with lots of cr crashes, but the only real carnage in this PG-13 rated piece of shit is the movie itself.

Empire State takes us to New York in the 80ies. After having been turned down by the NYPD, Chris Potamitis (Liam Hemsworth) is desperately looking for a job and ends up working as a security guard for Empire. Noticing that the security is well below par and needing some money, Chris decides to take $25,000. He then tells his friend Eddie (Michael Angarano) about it and together they hatch a scheme to steal a lot more. Eddie, a small time crook, blabs to his bosses about it, who are a couple of rings higher up on the criminal ladder and from there on everything goes awry.

Wow, five Oscar winning actors put together in one movie and not a single spark that hits the screen!

This geriatric version of The Hangover sees childhood friends Paddy (Robert De Niro), Archie (Morgan Freeman) and Sam (Kevin Kline) hitting Las Vegas for the bachelor party of Billy (Michael Douglas). An old rivalry between Billy and Paddy heats up when they both fall for Vegas loungesinger Diana (Mary Steenburgen), something that – we soon learn - has happened once before when they were young.

Do you like trashy movies? I sure do. I even managed to sit through most of Showgirls once. Here’s another one for you… this one is called Zombie Hunter. Guess what it’s about?