The third chapter in the Insidious series is a prequel, set before the haunting of the Lambert family. It’s pretty much the same stuff though as the first two movies, but with a different cast. Troubled teen Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) is trying to contact her recently deceased mother Lilith, but reaches something evil instead. Things quickly go from bad to worse, especially after a traffic accident, which leaves Quinn bedbound and defenseless.

A brief prologue takes us to Nebraska circa 1974, where a soldier comes home to find his entire family slaughtered by a bunch of kids. We then jump to the present and meet up with Tim and his girlfriend Allie, who is preggers. When their car breaks down, they end up knocking on the door of that once young soldier who has since grown old, moved to California and shacked up with a Ukrainian mail-order bride. Oh, I almost forgot… they also have a demonic child locked in a shed and he wants Allie’s unborn baby.

I’m not entirely sure how to start this review. ‘What the fuck?’ seems to cover most of what I’m thinking right now, but it doesn’t seem to convey exactly how bad this movie is. In this sequel to “Paul Blart: Mall Cop”, Kevin James gets to go a rent-a-cop convention in Las Vegas where a bunch of art thieves happen to be planning a heist. There’s a bunch of other stuff happening as well but honestly… who cares?

17-year-old Dora (Chloe Rose) is having a pretty bad day when she finds out on Halloween that she is four weeks pregnant. But things get decidedly worse when some creepy costumed kids start terrorizing her. Turns out they’re Halloween demons who want her unborn child. Oh, and they already cut off her boyfriend’s head. Now, how’s that for a shitty day?