Album Reviews

The Hell – Groovehammer
Sunday, July 20, 2014 - 15:45
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According to their Facebook page, UK’s The Hell is composed of a couple of core members along with thirty or so other cunts. They all have an alias and hide their faces, which I would do as well if I was playing in this band.

“Groovehammer” is the band’s second album and it feels like 14 variations on the same bad idea, which include a lot of hysterical singalongs, in-your-face hardcore and some generic chugga chugga riffs that are in sync with the kickdrum. For a band that does its utmost band to pretend not to care, it all sounds very orchestrated. Like they want us all to be in on the joke. But for that to happen, the joke would have to be funny.

Instead we have songs about how much they love dicks called “We Love Dicks” and “Everybody Dies”, which is about how they don’t care because we all die. It’s a point they really want to press home because they repeat it about a hundred times. Basically The Hell is like that one friend who becomes obnoxious the moment he starts drinking and who then yells the same joke in your ears over and over again because you didn’t laugh the first time around. I’d tell them where to stick their groovehammer but seeing how much they love dicks, I’m thinking they might just like it that way.