Movie Reviews

The Man With The Iron Fists
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Saturday, June 22, 2013 - 14:59
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This one looked good on paper. I mean, it is endorsed by Quentin Tarantino, co-written by Eli Roth and stars Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu. The only thing that it has working against it is the fact that RZA wrote and directed the whole thing and plays the main lead. Oh wait, the cons definitely outweigh the pros come to think of it. I mean, it’s not because you helped Tarantino with the sound effects on Kill Bill that you actually know how to make an entire movie, right? And if you think of RZA’s role in Californication, you already know he’s not exactly the world’s greatest actor.

The story itself is about a blacksmith in feudal China who’s always looking very serious while thinking deep thoughts like ‘where there’s iron, there’s rust’ and something about clans doing something wrong and fighting one another. I’m not sure who’s who exactly or why it is that characters in this movie do what they do because I stopped caring two minutes into the movie and because well, “The Man With The Iron Fists” is an unwatchable pretentious piece of crap.

But what about the fight scenes? Surely the fight scenes in a kung fu movie made by a kung fu lover are cool to watch? Yeah, you’d think so but no, not really. They miss style and grace and the hip hop beats that pop up during the scenes are as awkward as RZA’s performance.

I have no idea what everyone involved in this movie was thinking… they probably looked at it as a favor to a friend. But sometimes your friends are better served with someone advising them not to do something instead of helping them realize what has to be one of the worst movies made this year