Album Reviews

Greatest Hits
No Parents - Greatest Hits
Thursday, June 16, 2016 - 17:31
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- by Chris Crane

This Shit Rips.

No Parents’ “Greatest Hits” is a solid, is no-bullshit, straight-ahead collection of Southern California prime Skate punk. These dudes are ridiculous in the best way.

The opening song “Jam” had me worried this would be some weird psych-rock shit. 3 songs in I was having a blast. Once I hit song 10 though, I was sold. “DICK PIC RAMPAGE” had me laughing and imaging my friend Smallz rocking the fuck out and singing it aloud to himself in a grocery store, obliviously scaring some soccer mom with her kids.

Not every track is a winner, but there’s more than enough awesome to make up for it, and at worst you’ve lost 40 seconds of your life. Oh yeah, average song length on this album: 38 seconds. No time wasted on a chorus or bridge. They get straight to the point, whether it’s catchy and melodic like “Party Boy”, “SHOW GIRLS” “Now Idea What I Want” and “BACK OF A NAPKIN”, fast and furious like “THE FUCKING VALLEY” “Rehab” and “Mother Fuckers Don’t Know How to Act” or heavy like “Thank the Lord for the Mother Fucking WIFI” and “EVERY BAND NEEDS A YOKO”. Production value is right where it should be: raw and straight up, and good enough.

There’s a few odd things on here, including a track that’s just noise recorded at a Guitar Center, but there’s enough consistency throughout, so even the worst of it is forgivable. I can’t lie, this isn’t an all-day everyday listen for me, but it’s great for a quick pick-me-up. If you’re worried I name dropped every song on this album, don’t worry, there’s still 20 more. Go grab this one. Listen to them all and rage along.

Tom Dumarey
Tom Dumarey

Lacking the talent to actually play in a band, Tom decided he would write about bands instead. Turns out his writing skills are mediocre at best as well.