Movie Reviews

The Ghostmaker
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Tuesday, July 23, 2013 - 14:57
Directed by: 

Let’s see if I can help you through the storyline here. It’s a bit of a challenge seeing as the characters in this movie don’t even seem to know what is going on half the time.

So there’s this dude (dude #1) whose girlfriend wants to take a break because he’s no longer the nice guy that he used to be. This change in behavior could stem from his meth addiction, even though he doesn’t even seem to be high after smoking that shit. Oh yeah, he owes some douche-y dealer types money. He lives in a house that he shares with another dude (dude #2) who is stuck to a wheelchair. Oh yeah, he also works as a cleaner. While cleaning out a basement in an old lady’s house, he stumbles across a coffin. She tells him to get rid of it so of course, he drags the damn thing home.

Luckily for dude #1, he has another friend (dude #3) who’s just the guy to tell him all about this particular coffin. Dude #3 knows all that because he read it in an ancient book that coincidently happens to be written in English. Turns out the coffin was made by some old dude who made all these creepy torture devices and also came up with a coffin that allows its user to walk around as a ghost.

Dude #1 uses it to steal money and pay off his debts, dude #2 gets to use his legs again and follows dude #1’s girlfriend who he has the hots for. Of course, this sort of behavior cannot be condoned which is why a sort of grim reaper type figure appears (some of the worst CGI graphics I have seen in a long time). That figure kills dude #3 who we don’t hear about anymore from that point on. No funeral or nothing. Dude #1 doesn’t even tell dude #2 about dude #3’s death.

Mind you, we’re not even halfway… The Ghost Maker is the kind of horror movie that excels at all the wrong things. The storyline is terribly flawed, the acting is some of the worst ever and there are zero scares. Avoid this one at all costs.