Movie Reviews

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Saturday, February 14, 2015 - 13:46
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Remember that creepy doll from “The Conjuring” that was on display in the basement of psychic investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren? Well, it got its own movie… Because director James Wan was too busy with Furious 7, he gave the job to John R. Leonetti, his go to cinematographer since “Dead Silence”. Maybe not the best idea… the guy’s previous experience as a director adds up to “Mortal Kombat : Annihilation” and “The Butterfly Effect 2”.

Anyway, John (Ward Horton) and a very pregnant Mia (Annabelle Wallis) are a happy couple living a happy life in the seventies. They are so happy together that John even spends a lot of money on a hideous looking doll that completes Mia’s collection. Shortly after that, they are attacked by two members of a cult. Luckily they all survive, but one of the cult members dies with the doll in her hands. Then strange things start to happen and like any normal person, Mia immediately jumps to the conclusion that the house is cursed. Guess what? It’s not the house.

We are treated to all the clichés here… doors that close on their own, lights that flicker, appliances that suddenly have a mind of their own. If a demon really is that powerful, why don’t they ever come up with some truly scary shit? I mean, why would it just flip on the radio? It’s not that “The Conjuring” was any different really, but at least Wan has the talent to make things look creepy as fuck whereas Leonetti seems content to just kinda muddle through to end up with a movie that goes on for 90+ minutes.

Now, I love a good horror movie. It’s a shame though that you always have to wade through a ton of shitty ones to find that one good horror movie that has you on the edge of your seat. “Annabelle” is one of the shitty ones. The scariest thing about it is that the doll is even more lifelike and believable than Ward Horton’s performance.