Science Man's guide to Buffalo, NY
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Wednesday, December 9, 2020 - 19:13
Science Man's guide to Buffalo, NY

We haven’t posted one of these guides in quite some time because... you know, no travel. But now that the vaccines are here (which we all know is entirely and solely the work of Trump and not of scientists), we figured it was about time we went back to giving you some tips about the most exciting cities in the world. Like Buffalo, NY.

Showing us around the second-largest city in the state of New York is Science Man, who recently released his new album on Big Neck Records. ‘Science Man II ‘ finds John Toohill doubling down on the drum-machine driven, relentless guitar attack that was his 2019 self-titled debut. Think '90s noise rock, hardcore and garage-y punk decked out with plenty of weird, manic, frantic and other kinds of goodness.


PRT: What made you first fall in love with the city?

John: I love it?! Hell of an assumption to make . “Ain't talkin' 'bout love! My love is rotten to the core.” Bet you didn’t know David Lee Roth was talking about getting addicted to the Queen City did you? Don’t you know the old Buffalo slogan “We’re talking proud” ? Nobody here loves it. We’re just too fucking stubborn to leave or ever give up on it. Have you met a Bills fan? Punch drunk and dangerous. But yeah, I actually do love it.  Or I just love my friends that live here. I don't know. I do hate those “Buffa-Love” shirts… and that “Keep Buffalo a Secret” mural...Nobody wants their city to be hip and trendy. I'm still here tho. so, uh, fuck you for asking.


PRT: If you had to come up with a marketing slogan for the city, what would it be?

John: For years I've been saying  “The best place to live as long as you leave a lot” cuz I love to call Buffalo home but it’s a horrible place to feel trapped in. I was goofing around a lot the last few years that “Come back! We fixed it!” should be the slogan cuz we finally got like a vegan donut shop and fancy coffee places and all that shit but rent isn’t totally insane yet. Ya know, just doing my part. Trying to entice some interesting young people with money to come to town so they will go out and tip us service industry gremlins so we can pay our slowly rising rent and like go on vacation or make art. Also cuz i want actual cool friends to move here.


PRT: Best place to play?

John: Assuming I'm supposed to answer all these questions like shows exist rn? Mohawk Place is hands down the best legit venue for a show that's gonna have like 100+ people. Other than that you should be doing DIY shows at houses or using small bars that will let you run things (like Electric Ave) or art spaces like Revolution Gallery or The Hostel.


PRT: Best place to go for a late night drink after the show?

John: The Pink.


PRT: Best place to go for a late night snack after the drink after the show?

John: The Pink.


PRT: Best touristy thing to do in the city?

John: The Pink. Wake up hungover, eat at Amy’s place, go see Rick James’ grave in Forest Lawn Cemetery, and then get right in the van cuz yer gonna be late you idiots. NYC is like a 7hr drive from here.


PRT: Best hidden spot in the city?

John: I’m gonna tell you to go to The Pink but then not show up cuz I'll be at my hidden spot instead.


PRT: One thing you would like to see changed in the city?

John: A massive overhaul of the police force and their budget repurposed for social programs.


PRT: What's your best memory about the city? 

John: Jesus. This question. Are we at the city's funeral? This is it? Well, I hope in death this city finds peace, finally wins a superbowl, and gets a metro rail that goes in more than one direction.


PRT: Where in the city did you get your heart broken?

John: I dropped my ice cream cone outside Rascals on Niagara St. in like late July of 2006. It was all over.


PRT: Is there a historical fact about your city that makes you chuckle?

John: Buffalo wings are actually made from the genitals of all the animals in the slaughterhouse. Really! Us Buffalonians know this and we eat it cuz we’re into that kinda stuff but we also don’t tell anyone cuz we’re REALLY into seeing you sick fucks eat deep fried pig and chicken peeners and not know about it.


PRT: Favorite song about your city you'd like to share, either yours or someone else's? 

John: Well i mentioned Rick James earlier so i guess i’ll say “Below the Funk” cuz that's his song about Buffalo.

Tom Dumarey
Tom Dumarey

Lacking the talent to actually play in a band, Tom decided he would write about bands instead. Turns out his writing skills are mediocre at best as well.